reflections

reflections

i did the most stupidest thing that i shouldnt have done few hours ago. i really regret my actions and i feel the pain of my actions now. why do i always do things on impulse and start making a big din about it? i cant help but to ask myself why?

perhaps my cousin is right? i dont know. whats holding my thoughts back now? theres one thing thats holding me back now is, ‘ cos i really love him ‘ . if not i wont try to find ways to solve this problem. i wont be even bothered about it. everyone has their flaws, so do i. so who am i to give the ‘death sentence’ to him? im willing to make up to it and im willing to change, will someone direct me in this?

im clinging on, holding on tight to this relationship cos i really want us to last. cos i believe we can, its not the matter of time that im aiming for but its you that ive fallen in love with thats making me want this love between us to last. its gonna take time to heal all these wounds in us. i dont want to be that salt to be rubbing into our wounds and causing all this pains. i want us to be happy, just like Ian and Millie for instances! i really look up to them as our role model, even though they dont always see each other but yet they can be really loving! i want us to be like them. i really want…

ive been really selfish in my thinking these days, all i think about is me me and me. thats all, i want things to be different. i want to think about whats good and best for the both of us. im not giving up on you and i hope you’ll do the same too..

im gonna hold on tight. really tight.

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Dear God,

i thank You for these past 7months with Ben and thank You for allowing us to meet each other. im really thankful. God, i pray that You’ll help me to not be so self-centered and to think about things as a whole and people around me. i dont want to be who i am anymore, but i want to be a better person. A better girlfriend for Ben. God, i pray that You’ll bring us out of this problems once again and let the problem leave us from now on and not to hinder us anymore. God, i pray that You’ll give me the peace in my heart and allow Ben and I to continue this journey together. I thank You for everything once again. Amen